The Root of Chronic Anxiety and Stress
Do you find yourself constantly exhausted by the needs of others, or wondering why you can’t say 'no' without feeling overwhelming guilt?
Many people enter therapy struggling with overwhelming anxiety and chronic stress, only to realize that their primary "coping mechanism" is actually a survival response called fawning. You may feel anxious for no reason or feel like you are “not enough”. You may even be perceived as “successful”, but inwardly be worried about disappointing people. Unlike the well-known fight, flight, or freeze responses, "fawning" is an automatic urge to appease others to stay safe. If you find yourself constantly saying "yes" when you want to say "no," or if you feel a crushing responsibility for the happiness of those around you, you are likely operating from this wired-in "need to please." This isn't just a personality trait; it is a profound burden where you unconsciously believe the price of admission to any relationship is the forfeiture of your own boundaries. This creates a state of constant hyper-vigilance, where your self-worth becomes a barometer for everyone else’s mood—an impossible and exhausting way to live.
This cycle of stress is often rooted in early childhood experiences where you were given the message, subtly or directly, that you had the "power" to control the emotions of the adults or siblings around you. You may be healing from a narcissistic parent or other childhood wounds. Whether you were the emotional anchor for a struggling parent or were blamed for family hardships, those "train tracks" were laid down early: you learned that safety equals compliance. I provide the support necessary to help you realize that you are not omnipotent. You do not have the superpower to control the weather of other people’s internal lives. When we work together, we look at how this old wiring fuels your current anxiety, helping you drop the weight of responsibilities that were never yours to carry in the first place.
Healing from this automatic response requires a dedicated space to "change the tracks" in your brain. True support in therapy involves learning to navigate the intense stress that arises when you finally begin to choose yourself. We practice the "Pause”: training you to notice the physical trigger of the urge to comply and replacing the "auto-yes" with a boundary-setting "let me think about it." This process is inherently uncomfortable; your brain will resist the new route because it feels "unsafe" to stop pleasing. However, with consistent work, that resistance subsides. By listening to your authentic self and establishing firm boundaries, you move away from the depletion of fawning and toward a life of genuine, sustainable peace. You don’t have to carry the world alone; I am here to help you navigate the way back to yourself.
